[Podcast] ABCDs of Emotional Intelligence

ABCDs of Emotional Intelligence

You were unsuccessful but you did not want to be....

You were disappointed but you did not want to be....

You were misunderstood but you did not want to be....

You were rejected but you did not want to be...

You wanted justice but got not...

You wanted peace but saw not...

What could have happened? What should not have happened?

Thus, begins the journey of infinite questions; the answers to which we do not know, we fail to comprehend and apply. Is there a fix for such an emotional disconnect? We strive hard to find an answer.

Moving the focus to some self – introspection now, are we always in order? Are our actions in total synchronization with the mind and the brain? Maybe YES or Maybe NOT. We do not know, right?

This discourse is about such instances in life, which are not particularly the ‘AHA’ moments, but it is our responsibility, yes I reiterate that it is US and our mindfulness to convert those non –aha moments into aha moments. After all, who would, if we did not do it ourselves? Everything lies within us. I am referring to those latent capabilities that need to be tapped and brought forth to tackle those situations of unpleasantness that surround our lives and complicate matters. Unpleasantness is NON –DESIRABLE AND UNWARRANTED.

Reality is that life is hardly but a dream when we are rowing the boats in the sea of life. There is turbulence and it is essential that we can negotiate it and emerge as a successful voyager; that is what we should all aim for.

Now comes the important part - the tools that equip us to have the best deal out of life. It is crucial that we derive the ultimate bargains from life just as we look for shopping bargains and aim for the ultimate. Notwithstanding the fact that the ‘oohs’, the ‘ aahs’ and the ‘ouches’ have significantly increased in the present generation as compared to the previous generations it is certainly not prudent to sit back and let life pass us by.

So.... What do we do?

First of all, we take a look at the ABCDs of emotional intelligence:

1. Analyse and address the emotions of others-try and put yourself in their position and understand their perspective. Easy? Not quite! Simply because we put ‘I’ before ‘U’ and thus starts the wheel of complexity as situations get churned.

2. Be open to others perspectives–it does more good than harm. It opens up your horizons and gives you that wholeness in your attitude to accept things the way they are.

3. Connect with others -understand them, see their viewpoints, agree to disagree and lastly cooperate with their ideas, not necessarily with them.

4. Develop empathy–a key skill to understand about yourself and others. This would pave the path for self awareness and make you so much more emotionally intelligent.

Simple guidelines but effective ones - right? There are many insights and keys to effective social and emotional intelligence but in my opinion the premise of such intelligence lies in developing that emotional quotient over time through nothing but experiences, good or bad. Emotions make us who we are and seriously it is time to polish our social and emotional skills so that we do not fail ourselves.

After all who wants to fail knowingly, I suppose no one. The FIX thus lies in the above steps. To conquer others, it is imperative that we conquer ourselves. We keep applying and reapplying some emotional intelligence skills that would help to seriously navigate the ups and downs of the sea of life and emerge as successful voyagers – be such people who have been there, done that and yet been victorious and not become emotional fools .

The key is not to get victimized- the purpose is never to victimize others. BUT the mantra to success is to take a step back and think like the other person and understand his point of view without being in conflict. Understand what it means to agree to disagree without being a doormat – be a successful voyager in negotiating the ups and downs...

This first appeared on my blog here.

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About the Author
Author: Swati Lahiri
Swati Lahiri, M.Ed and PGCE is an innovative educator cum clinical Psychologist teaching English literacy and English for Speakers of Other Languages. She switched her career from banking to teaching about 12 years ago and proudly calls herself a new age educator who focuses on bespoke 21st century skills. She has received her education both from the US and the UK and currently in London teaching in the higher education sector. Swati loves to travel and when she is not teaching, she is busy reading or penning her thoughts on a variety of topics.

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